Pilgrim's Progress

Order & Chaos

>> Canada Files: Day 129

Yes, it really is 4 months since I arrived, and it's almost a month since the last blog post. It isn't that nothing's happening - it's more that EVERYTHING is happening, and there is too much to say. Most of the news has gone into my prayer letter which went out yesterday.

I'm beginning to understand the hand of God in a larger way. So many things have begun to come into focus, and to merge to form what looks like a coherent picture.

I am beginning to emerge into a land of promise here - many things I've prayed for for a long time and sought after are starting to come into view - questions about vocation, creativity, and just what I'm supposed to do with my life are beginning to find satisfying answers. I pray this is "The End of the Wilderness" for a season anyway.

Here is a little tune I put together today, around the theme of "Order & Chaos" - my life feels both ordered and chaotic at the moment. Many foundations are being laid, but so much is up in the air right now, but somehow I feel confident that there is a greater purpose over it all.

Meditation4 - Order & Chaos A higher quality version is available for use in Christian worship & ministry. Download (96K MP3)

 

Everlasting God

Less than 3 weeks till I fly to Canada. Packing and preparing to move is my main task now, but there is time to prepare in other ways.

GOHOP (the prayer community I'll be hanging out with) use a model of creative prayer called "Harp and Bowl" (from Revelation 5). It offers some helpful ways into spontaneous worship and prayer. You can read more about it here.

I've a growing sense that the main purpose of the times in Canada is to draw close to God along with others seeking to do the same, and that the creative stuff will serve that greater end. And so today began with a meditation on Psalm 90. As I pondered this, I started to put a tune together round the theme of "Everlasting God".

Everlasting God (96K MP3; 8 mins; 5.5MB) Right click and select "Save Target As..." Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

I heard that something like revival seems to have broken out in Florida and is spreading worldwide. Not quite sure what I think about it yet, but whatever is going on, I'm reminded again that underneath all our endeavours is an everlasting God whose purposes stand firm throughout all generations.

Show yourself to us again, O Lord.
In our day, reveal your power again ...

Music for Easter Part 1

Three tunes for Easter - a couple are from animations which are too large to post unfortunately. The three below focus on the story up to the crucifixion. I will post some resurrection ones soon.

I've really felt drawn in to the journey of Jesus in a fresh way this year, and some of the the moods and scenes of that journey have suggested some musical ideas, which are posted here.

I Have Desired To Eat This Meal With You (96K MP3; 4 mins; 3.5MB) TThe Agony of Christ (96K MP3; 4mins; 3.5MB) It Is Finished (96K MP3; 1:30; 1.4MB) Right click and select "Save Target As..." Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

Soul Expansion

During our recent 24-7 prayer here in church, someone showed me this wonderful prayer in the Northumbria Community prayer book (Celtic Daily Prayer). It expresses so many inner things so concisely ...

Lord, help me now to unclutter my life,
to organise myself in the direction of simplicity.

Lord, teach me to listen to my heart;
teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it.

Lord, I give You these stirrings inside me,
I give You my discontent,
I give You my restlessness,
I give You my doubt
I give You my despair
I give You all the longings I hold inside.

Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth;
to listen seriously and follow where they lead,
through the breathtaking empty space of an open door.

And so to the latest tune - "Soundtrack to an Expanded Life". Reminds me of earlier stuff which felt like "my soul getting free."

Soundtrack For An Expanded Life (Main Theme) (96K MP3; 13 mins; 8.8MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

And so ...

May you listen to the stirrings in your soul;
In those deep currents may you discern the Spirit's promptings,
And may you have the courage to follow where He leads.

Prayer for the New Year #3

The next line from the Northumbria prayer (click here) is:

Lord, I will trust you,
Help me to journey beyond the familiar
and into the unknown

The image posted a couple of days ago fits perfectly, so here it is again. This time, a new tune to go with it:

The Voyage of St Brendan (96K MP3; 8:20 mins; 5.4MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

I often say that the last 6 years of ordained ministry have been one long voyage into the unknown, but that isn't the whole story. I realise I have surrounded myself with all kinds of comforts along the way, "safe places" if you like, where it is too easy to hide from the real world!

But that call is coming to me again from somewhere across the sea ... "come and follow me" ...

So, at the doorway of another year, a prayer ...

The year ahead stretches before us like the ocean
Wild, untamed, unknown.
May our trust in Him deepen enough
To climb aboard his purpose for us,
And let his current carry us deeper into him,
Into a life that really counts.

Pray it for me too!

A Prayer for the New Year #1

On a personal level, the Northumbria prayer in the previous post (click here) gathers up all of my prayers for the journey ahead in 2008. Taking a phrase at a time, perhaps for a week, seems like a great focus for personal prayer.

As I was praying this morning, a little song popped into my head. I decided to try and record it, and here's the result:

To be Yours Alone (96K MP3; 1:10 mins; 980KB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

So, using some words from the Northumbria Prayer ...

Focus my mind and heart upon you,
My attention always upon you without alteration ...

Tune my spirit to the music of heaven ...

So, at the doorway of another year, a prayer ...

May your spirit be tuned to the sounds of heaven:
The Father's affirming voice;
The Son's life-giving word;
The Spirit's prompting whisper.

Pray it for me too!

Songs for the Journey #1 - Bend Your Ear to Me, Lord

I've always loved the Psalms, more so in recent years. They have followed me faithfully through the many peaks and valleys of recent years, and have offered light in the darkness.

This is from Psalm 40 ...

Bend Your Ear Towards Me Lord (96K MP3; 9 mins; 6.5MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

May there be light on your path today
May God turn his ear towards you if you are calling out to him.

I've never really thought of doing "requests" but do you have a favourite Psalm?
Let me know and maybe I can turn it into a tune!

NB: The recording of the Psalm was taken from AudioTreasure - I cannot see any copyright notice that covers these recordings, but permission has been sought.

Magnificat

I love Mary's song from Luke's Gospel - it sums up what I feel like when the creative juices are flowing. It feels like my inner being is being caught up in praise.

"My soul magnifies the Lord
And my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour"

I'm fascinated by patterns and mathematics, and I am intrigued by minimialism and the music of Steve Reich and Philip Glass and others. This latest offering is in that mode. Subtle shifts in repeating patterns to create an overall shape. Based on a rising chord of C major, with controlled randomness to add interest.

It's simply called "Magnificat" - Mary's Song in the style of Steve Reich (a bit random I know but it just happens like that sometimes!)

Magnificat (96K MP3; 3:45 mins; 2.7MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

You're going to love or hate this one, but that's OK :)

Tunes You Know #2

OK so here's another tune you know, but not as you know it. No.1 was Pachelbel's Canon a week or two back.

Current creative idea is to reimagine old classical pieces, in the vein of William Orbit's "Pieces in a Modern Style". Not sure if I have a future in "Fresh Expressions" of church, but maybe these are "Fresh Expressions of tunes you know" :)

This is my take on Gymnopedie No.1 by Erik Satie.

Gymnopedie No.1 (96Kbps MP3; 6:40; 4.5MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

P.S. Does anyone know what a "Gymnopedie" is? Answers on an e-postcard.

Downtempo #2

Another meditative prayer ... a desire to live slowly enough to listen. 

Sleep State (96Kbps MP3; 6:00 ; 4MB)

Notes

1. I didn't really "create" this - I merely recorded it. It uses "generative music" techniques - that's to say the notes are randomly generated within a pattern, which here is broadly a pentatonic scale (think wind chimes).
2. Thanks to Angstrom who did all the hard work in Ableton Live 6.

Downtempo #1

Is it possible to live purposefully, passionately, actively, but also slowly? One of my goals is to learn to live at the right speed, but without losing any purpose and passion.

"Downtempo" is a kind of music designed for relaxation and chilling out. Is downtempo living possible in today's world? This tune is my prayer that we might find the right speed ...

Slow Me (96Kbps MP3; 4:42 ; 3MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

It's my prayer for me, for you, for the church which is often so busy and frantic.

Even if all around you is a blur
May you find your speed
May you slow down enough to hear his whisper.

Surprised by Joy

I don't know where it came from.

Given what's happening around the place, as I watch friends going through difficult things, and as I wrestle with my own ongoing questions, I'm surprised it came.

But it came today as I was working on a piece of music for Dream. The soaring chords of Pachelbel's Canon suddenly lifted me into God's presence, and as I added layers to the music, this mysterious joy seemed to increase.

Pachelbel's Canon (Surprised by Joy Mix) (96K MP3; 4 mins; 3.5MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

I believe that what rose up was a desire to be fully alive, and discover what my life's purpose is. Somehow I think making music and visuals is part of the answer to that, and in those moments, I felt fully alive.

I think this piece of music is the sound of my soul getting free.

It's the sound of everything I truly desire in life.

May you discover what makes you come alive
May you discover what sets your soul free
And may you find ways to offer that to the world

Because what the world needs, what the church needs is people who are fully alive ...

Feeling Small Again

An email conversation with a friend this week reminded me again how small we are against the backdrop of an awesome God. In charismatic circles you sometimes get the sense that God should seem close all the time, and that failing to feel close to God is a sign that something's wrong. I think my friend is wrestling with this tension - I wrestle with it daily too.

On paper, we know that it's normal not to feel God close all the time, but I still think we miss it, because in our spirit, we know we were made for intimacy with him.

This journey of knowing God is a journey to the end of time and beyond, but I always long to experience a more intimate walk with him too.

I think this was all in my mind as I came up with this glitchy ambient drum & bass tune using a few famous vocal samples:

Journey to the End of Time (96K MP3; 12 mins; 9.5MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

Lord, this tune is my prayer for everyone who is feeling a bit lost in your vastness and would like to sense your closeness again.

Go To Sleep

Maybe one to fall asleep to? A remix of "Blue Room" by The Orb, from 1997. I haven't really done much musical stuff like this for nearly a decade, so it's great to have found it again.

I've been struck recently by the story of Elijah. After the showdown on Mount Carmel, he ran for his life. There he collapsed, exhausted. Only after rest could his recovery begin. And when he got up the first thing God said to him was not "pray", or "fast", or "try harder", but "eat something", and then sent him off to sleep again!

So this is for everyone who doesn't need to pray more, or pull their socks up, but who needs to rest, and look after themselves before returning to the front line.

Deep Sleep (96K MP3; 11 mins; 8.6MB download) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

I'd like to put together some background ambient stuff for worship, but even better, I'd love to mix it live!

We'll Get There

Was playing around with a demo of Ableton Live 6 LE today - a software package for live mixing audio and DJ-ing.

I came up with this live mix, which kind of sums up the way I feel about life at the moment - I think I've been granted a glimpse of where I'm headed, but not just yet.

 

We'll Get There Mix (96K MP3; 11 mins; 8MB) Higher quality version available on request for non-commercial use in Christian worship, mission etc.

Based on one of MLK's famous speeches. It is quite full on - a sign of the there's creative energy that's bubbling away even though life is difficult right now.

Hope you enjoy it.