Pilgrim's Progress

Setting Out Again

I called this image "Coming of Age" when I did it earlier today, but on a second look, it's also about setting out day by day to follow that inner urging that is God's call. I don't think I've ever felt fully equipped, fully ready, or fully trained, but I do believe that it matters somehow, and that it's all heading somewhere.

But where? I cannot say where, to what, or to whom. But something inside says that it leads to Him. He was there at the journey's beginning, and he will be there at its ending, whatever end that might be.

The words of the following poem were part of why I said "yes", and why I am here today.

"I know that I am called
The message was quite clear
and yet I cannot see the how, the why.

I feel so small, so weak
so ill-equipped for such a task.

And yet I am prepared to say YES
and undertake the risk
and enter the unknown,
Responding to the call,
Trustfully treading my way
the only way that leads to life - to HIM."
(Sr. Theresa Margaret)

"Your men will follow you to whatever end, my Lord."
(Glamdring to King Theoden, just before the battle of Helm's Deep)

Lift Up the Cross

It's that time of year again ... once again the Cross is looming large. Last year the big thing was "by his stripes we are healed". This year it seems to be "When I am lifted up, I will draw all people to myself."

I know that whatever we do, whether inherited or emerging or pioneering or something else, it's all about leading people to encounter the crucified and risen Jesus. And if that happens, somehow the rest will take on its true perspective.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that the world does not need "professional" leaders, but rather leaders in whose lives the Cross & resurrection of Jesus are seen to be powerfully at work - through our weakness, brokenness and "unfinishedness". Leaders who will make it their aim to keep pointing people to Jesus, who refuse to gather a following for themselves, who are content to be signposts.

"Don't talk about it. The rose doesn't have to propagate its perfume. It just gives it forth and people are drawn to it. Don't talk about it. Live it. And people will come to see the source of your power." (Ghandi)

In the image, there are about 56,000 people in the crowd. I believe a time is coming when many, many more will be gathered in.

More creative stuff to come I think.

My Dream (part 3)

This is FAKE REALITY - it isn't a photo ... it's a 3D "photorealistic" render. You might want to reach out and stroke the carpet or smell the flower, but you can't, because they're faked.

I can't get away from this right now - KEEP IT REAL AT ALL COSTS - vulnerable, genuine, open, truthful. There is a cost to being real in our Christian communities - we might be misunderstood, taken for a ride, taken advantage of, gossiped about, badmouthed for daring to tell it like it is ... but the cost of peddling spiritual fakery is so high in eternal terms, it doesn't bear thinking about.

Someone might walk into a church next Sunday, needing to touch eternity, seek comfort, find hope, belonging, connectedness, meaning ... will they find the real thing?

I've heard it said that Henri Nouwen's writings were like "memos to himself" - he wrote about where he longed to be, not what he had already attained (also Paul in Phil 3). Same for these last 3 posts ... am still a fearful beginner when it comes to take steps into keeping it real as a leader.

My Dream (part 2)

I dream of being a genuine, vulnerable leader. Leadership is good, but too often we have a kind of class system of "leaders" and "everybody else". No more! The leadership "class" can fake spirituality, lead because they're paid to, insist on being treated better, take advantage of their position, keep up appearances. No more! No room for "smooth", glossy, professional (in the wrong sense), "me up here, you down there", "I'm sorted now I can help you" leaders.

Instead ... to dare to be seen for who we are, as pilgrims on the way, sometimes surprised to find ourselves out front leading because we know ourselves well, constantly in need of God's grace, and daring to let ourselves be on display as a worked example of that grace in action, and YET not afraid to give a strong lead when needed, not afraid to speak boldly when called, not afraid to let the power of God work through us when prompted, not afraid to confront in love, not afraid to endure the loneliness of costly decisions ...

Is this possible? I believe so ... It's a dream that scares me, but it won't go away!

"We are called to intentional, deliberate vulnerability."
(from the Rule of the Northumbria Community)

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
(Leonard Cohen: "Anthem")

I dream of a church that strives for visible genuineness. Church with glass walls, or no walls - so that if it's real, people will see ... if it's fake, people will see.

Perfect example here - Bishop John Sentamu living rough for a week in York Cathedral, to pray for the Middle East, and having many significant encounters as he does so.

"Come on, bring a noise, let the woooorrrrld know we're around, how we get on, how we get down."
(MC Conrad - from a Drum'n'Bass DJ set with LTJ Bukem)

All of this "My Dream" stuff has been a kind of Martin Luther King moment - like a glimpse of the Promised Land - it's a scary, costly dream and I don't know if we'll get there, but it's where I wanna go and take others with me.

I subtitled my blog "In relentless pursuit of REAL" and I reaffirm this today! If I have to perform, or fake it to do what I do, I will leave and do something else.

My Dream

I haven't dipped into the emerging church conversation lately, but a few thoughts have been bubbling round lately, as my new post draws closer:

My dream is to simply live out authentic Christian community that nurtures the body of Christ and welcomes others in. Is this church or mission? I dream of a community that no longer makes that distinction, but simply lives authentically and open-heartedly before the world in a way which is both attractive to anyone at any stage of faith, and prophetic, in that lives out and proclaims the Good News.

Similarly, my dream is simply to be the body of Christ. Is this "inherited" or "emerging"? I dream of a community that no longer makes that distinction. We will no longer stop to decide which label fits, or which camp we belong to, but we'll simply get on with living out our callings, while blessing the diversity in the body.

My own primary passion is to get in amongst the existing church and see it renewed in every way, to see it stirred up and roused, renewed and cleansed, re-discovering its calling. I spoke to Ben at New Wine, who told me he'd spoken to a number of people who also felt this call. I sense the call to work within the walls to be a "stirrer-upperer", rather than a pioneer on fresh ground. Neither do I feel called to be a "parish plodder", simply cranking the handle and keeping church ticking over.

What's your dream? What's your passion?

One body gathered round Christ ... one Lord, one faith, one hope ... break dividing walls.

The Last Temptation

   

I heard yesterday of a(nother) very well-known figure in the Christian world who has run aground morally. If anyone seemed to be beyond this kind of moral failure ... I pray he can be restored somehow. (I won't be publishing a name here).

It so happens that I'm preaching tomorrow on the Temptation of Christ ... it struck me that Christ was only ever one choice away from losing it all, and so are you and I. It really is as close as that. This Christian brother has made some bad choices, but it could be any of us.

"Let him who thinks he stands watch out, lest he fall ..."

Click here for a wallpaper size (1024x768) of the above image.

Into the Unknown #2: The Road Ahead

Returning to one of my favourite themes ... the way ahead, whose destination is the Father's house, but where from here to there? (Click here or on the icon for an animation - about 600K, Requires Flash Player 8)

I know that I am called
The message was quite clear
and yet I cannot see the how, the why.

I feel so small, so weak
so ill-equipped for such a task.

And yet I am prepared to say YES
and undertake the risk
and enter the unknown,
Responding to the call,
Trustfully treading my way
the only way that leads to life - to HIM.

(Sr. Theresa Margaret)

Fully Present

Chris Erdman talks about his sermon preparation. I love this ...

"What matters is that I was there, present to the text and to the Trinity, present to myself and to the daily experience of the people I love and among whom I will open this text come Sunday."

For me, it was Joel yesterday. A little Hebrew word study. The day before it was 2 Corinthians 12:9 - God's grace in our weakness. Today I think it will be Amos. Psalm 38:9. A walk on the beach somewhere. Who knows! I felt the weight of God around the place yesterday ... usually means I'm to listen carefully because God wants to say something or impart something to me. I don't want to miss it!

Present to the text, the Trinity, myself, those I love ... can that be our resolve today? That attentiveness to the text, to the Trinity, to our own depths, to the currents of God flowing through the lives of those around us?

All Together Now?

How much of what we do (and see around us) as church leaders, pastors, emerging church types etc. is the overflow of a healthy deep seated acceptance and sustenance by God and others? Is any of it an attempt to compensate for the lacks and gaps in our own lives?

Put it another way ... do our achievements DEFINE who we are or EXPRESS who we are? (cf. Donald Sutherland in the remake of "The Italian Job")

P.S. I post this as someone who doesn't have it all together yet, called to work with people who haven't got it all together yet, who has been blessed by countless people who haven't got it all together yet :)

"Leading from the Leading Edge"

I'm still buzzing about Graham Cray's presentation on "Mission Shaped Church" I heard recently. How someone can answer most of my key questions and concerns in an hour's presentation short of actually reading my mind is quite amazing.

Some key quotes:

"The place of leadership is at the leading edge modelling engagement with the culture in the name of the gospel"

"The pastor apostle is one who forms congregations into mission groups shaped by encounters with the gospel in culture - structuring the congregations forms into shapes that lead people outward into a missionary encounter ... but in this kind of congregation, the pastor will only be able to lead as he or she models the encounter with the culture" (Alan Roxborough)

This resonates with me and where I believe I'm headed ... anyone else relate to this?

Who is My Enemy?

Who is My Enemy? ...The title of a thought-provoking book by Rich Nathan - pastor of an American Vineyard church. (It is praised by Brian McLaren which gives it a certain kudos in today's post-modern climate).

The thing that attracted me to this book was firstly hearing him speak, and secondly the book's subtitle, "welcoming people the church rejects". He spoke at the New Wine national leaders conference in May 2003 about, amongst other things "Creating a Culture of Welcome" and that has really influenced how I seek to do ministry in my church.

I liked that he managed to talk of welcome without making it sound woolly and permissive.

Torn in Two ...

As a GenX church leader with a foot in two generations of the church I am torn between:
(1) the need to be anchored in the historic Christian faith and to learn from the older and wiser who've gone before
(2) the need to "get out of the box", dismantle the box and use the wood to build something new

I'm calling myself GenX as a convenient label, but I'm really a pilgrim at heart ... my life mission is ... to follow Jesus wherever it leads and whatever it costs ... and in the last 6 years this has taken me on a journey beyond anything I would ever have imagined.

Is anyone else in this position? i.e. you find yourself serving in a very traditional denomination of the church or some organisation, but there's a restless energy inside you that wants to break out and do something fresh and new?