Pilgrim's Progress

Deep and Hidden Things

He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness.
and light dwells with him.
(Daniel 2:22)

"People who come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more that the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God."
(Henri Nouwen)

I often ask God, "show me what's happening in this person's life", or "show me the real me that lies underneath" ...

(Click here for a full-size (1024x768) version of this picture)

In Relentless Pursuit of REAL

This is my new blog strapline. The previous one ("Following Jesus wherever it leads and whatever it costs") was fine, but I was looking for something more all-encompassing that would take in worship, identity, spirituality, purpose, as well as mission and discipleship.

In Pursuit of Real

O for eyes, unscaled, made pure
A naked heart, a soul unveiled ...

O to brave the searing flame
That burns our masks to dust

O to tiptoe to the worship place
With trembling and awe
And fearsome expectation ...

O to return to this world
With eyes reborn,
Eyes that no longer see grey streets
And haggard faces
But a spacious land
Aflame with shocking colour
And God-sparked souls seeking homecoming ...

"Worship is bringing all we know of ourselves to all we know of God". (William Temple)

"Most of us want to get close enough to the furnace that is the love of God to stay warm, but we don't want to plunge in, because we know we'll emerge burnt, incandescently transformed, and life will never be the same again" (Fr. Brennan Manning)

One For the Road #2: Psalm 131 - The Eye of the Hurricane

Another Psalm paraphrase, this time on Psalm 131. It also draws on Isaiah 30:15. There were two images strongly in my mind - one of the eye of the hurricane as a place of mysterious calm at the centre of the storm, and the second of being kept safe inside the strong hands of God.

The Eye of the Hurricane

Held in the hurricane’s eye
By strong and gentle hands
I am reluctantly at rest.

I am not done with wrestling:
This storm of whys and hows and whens
Has not spent its fury yet:
It rages still.
Not on some distant hill
But all around, within.

Here, in the hurricane’s eye
I huddle, a handsbreadth from the fearsome gust
That races round.
I dare not venture out a hand
To feel its power.
I would be tugged away
And flung up, tossed like a discarded wrapper,
And cast down God knows where.
I must be still, be still.

‘God, don’t hold me here’, I cry
Don’t make me wait in silence here.
The storm is calling me – I must tame it
To silence this soul’s seeking.
The questions, questions
Whose stark unansweredness is the cyclone’s rage
I must go – it is my storm.

"If you want to go now, you can, but you go alone."
Comes back his answer.
He has offered me a refuge, not a prison.
If I choose to step away
These strong fingers will release their hold
And let me go.
I ponder.

The storm blusters on, unchecked.
Will it abate? I do not know.
He will not tell me, yet.
I know I do not have the strength
To face it down and stand my ground.
There will be time enough for that.
For now, I must rest down on him
And recoup my strength.

And so, in the hurricane’s eye
Held in these strong and gentle hands
I am reluctantly at rest.

RKL 5.07.05

One For the Road #2: Psalm 42 - I Remember

This might the the first in a series, but let's see how we get on with this one. It's a loose paraphrase of Psalm 42.

I Remember

I remember.
The clamorous praise, the ecstasy.
I remember well those giddy days
I remember.

I remember the stillness of your presence,
Serene, untroubled, like a perfect millpond.
In peering down deep I saw there your reflection, Yahweh.

But now in turmoil do I cry to you.
These towering waves,
These raging giants of the deep
Kicked into fury by your finger's flick
Upon the waters that rise up and surround me now;
They tower up and up
And I have no answer, no defence.
I am barely afloat.

Have you done this to me, Yahweh?
Did you make them taunt and jeer?
Did you make of me a laughing stock?
This one-time worship leader, now forlorn?
I have no strength or will to come against their mockery.
But you, Yahweh, my God, have you turned against me too?

I am barely afloat.
I cannot sink any deeper or I am gone ...
I gasp a cry.

Can this plaintive voice be heard above the ocean's roar?
Can this heart's outpouring, this soul's red rescue flare
Float up beyond the grasp of this rampaging sea
And drift its way to you?
Will its bright sputtering catch your eye?
Or will it fly too low,
Or unseen, fade and tumble earthward once again?
I dare to venture hope.

Let the seas do their worst, let them pound
I will not go down to the deep
There is something stronger here.
I exhaust my petition and fall silent.

I reach inside and find a prayer, and gasp it upwards.
I will praise you again Yahweh, as I once did.
I will remember.

I remember,
But I find that in remembering you I am remembered.
My prayer to you, Yahweh, was first your gift to me:
Your love by day, your song by night.

And so, amidst these raging seas
I dare to venture hope.
I remember.

Lent Prayer: Let Your land Lie Fallow

A "sort of prayer, sort of poem" for the times of "in-betweenness" (like Lent?) when we've left behind or forsaken things that were familiar to us, and don't seem to have settled in the new place just yet ... or maybe it's about restlessness and a pilgrim spirit ... maybe it will say something different to you.

It did remind me of Jonah 2:8 "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs".

Let your Land Lie Fallow: A Prayer for Fruitfulness

Let your land lie fallow: it's not your time
To send up seas of swaying gold
Cut loose the old and brace for death’s dark vale.

Let your land lie fallow: in the dark
And vacant in-between, a shard of light:
A new day beckons just beyond.

Let your land lie fallow: take your rest
Lie deep and still, time does not sleep
It will come round again.

Let your land lie fallow, do not fret
When other pastures pour forth corn -
The kind old sun will rouse you yet.

Let your land lie fallow, but eagerly seek:
The seeds lie deep, are thirsty for the rain
The skies sag heavy, it's not long now.

Father I Call On You

For anyone whose heart is longing for more, but doesn't quite know what to do with that longing ...

Wild Places Again

Continuing recent theme of wild places (my big theme at the mo) ... a poem written at a time when the implications of "following Jesus wherever it leads and whatever it costs" were beginning to bite.

Out Here (A Solitary Traveller Speaks) written 10.05.02

I swapped my nets for questions
And traded my home for walking boots.
And now I'm out here.
Some trackless somewhere.
I think you called me, God.
But was I faithful or a fool
to come out here to find you, to follow you?
Won't you calm this moment with an answer?

I came out here too.
I traded my omniscience for an unanswered "Why?",
and universe-creating power for an infant's chubby hands.
I turned my back on golden paradise and huddled in a draughty shed,
and left unbroken fellowship for deep betrayal by a friend.
I drew the blinds on unimaginable radiance
and sank in utter blackness that I had not known …

I came out here too,
But you have no language to apprehend
The wonders I traded for your brittle frame.
You have no intellect to comprehend what I forsook,
What all-surpassingness I laid aside,
What gnawing questions swarmed around my mind,
When I came out here.

To find you.

Spice Up Your Posts!

A couple of little discoveries to spice up posts. I prefer understated use of visual effects and animation - there is so much noise out there, but here are a few things you can do:

1) Use HTML Tags

HTML is the computer language used to create web pages, and blog posts are simply HTML documents, though the complexity is mostly hidden. For example, if you add an image, what appears in the editing window is HTML code.

OK, some examples ... the font tag

Font Fun!!

Font Fun!!

2) Animated GIFs

Upload as a normal image file, and it will automatically "play" in the browser window.

3) Flash Movies

Need a bit of code for this, but it works!