In a world where more and more of our lives are conducted online, in a sprawling network of virtual communities, how are we to find true connectedness? The kind that often hurts but the only kind which really satisfies the deep inner places? The kind that gets behind the masks and down to the places in us that long for real connectedness? In the image above I've tried to capture the light and dark side of this - the need and the fear, the anticipation and the hesitation.
But this isn't really about Facebook, or postmodernity, is it? It's really the same old thing - the messy business of daring to show our true colours to others. Because to do so is to hand them the power to treat kindly or cruelly what they see.
And contemporary virtual connectedness, I fear, is too often about keeping people at a distance, rather than about making real connections. About showing others a carefully constructed presentation of ourselves which is designed to be liked, affirmed, and included.
I've posted about this many times, probably because it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, is to let others cross the line, past the mask. Maybe you find this too.
I'm not envious of those who have 1000+ "friends" on Facebook. Honestly.
What I'm looking for, what we're all looking for in our own way, is "US" ... we are tired of "I".
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Hi Richard,
This is interesting. I'll share my two cents on what I've learned from the online addiction:
Online is a way for people to relate and connect on one dimension but not in the way that they most need. Online you can pour out your guts, your soul, your heart. And you might connect with others who have the same heart. What happens is that it becomes the *only* place that you can "relate". You lose your ability to communicate with people in the *real*, face to face.
It leads to something I call "zombie mode" -- it's when you're stuck in the cyber world and in the real world you look and feel like a zombie. You just stare off into some place in the room without focusing because your mind is on things back in cyberspace, and that's where you long to return to.
What I kind of see is that a generation is able to "connect" online in ways they have not been able to connect in life, and it's offering a forum for souls that are hungry to have their hearts understood and held. While it seems to offer that in some measure, what unfortunately happens is that they're pulled further out of the real world where they live and where connections can be made that will bring them more full healing.
People are three-part beings, body-soul-spirit. The internet offers fellowship to one of those, the soul. But we are more than our minds. It's easy to become a whole different person in this world (the cyber-world). But it's not who you really are, because who you really are is all of you, body, soul & spirit.
I drew a picture kind of on the same thing a year ago:
http://art-for-jesus.blogspot.com/2006/08/wide-focus.html
What's needed is full-person connection, not merely mind-connection. We need people face to face, we need to hold their hands, we need to be hugged. And we need mind-connection. (Add to this the "spirit" connection Jesus brings).
Having a disconnect between our parts isn't good for us. It may lead us to feeling better in our minds (online), but if we aren't able to make that face-to-face & human-touch contact with the people in our daily lives, it leads us to being unable to interact with them. In short, it can lead to alienation and depression.
I think you're right that everyone's looking for "us"... the online world offers a way to connect, but it isn't a full-connection. It offers a partial connection, and I think the Church can recognize that and pray for people, and help them out into a full-connection.
Sadly, however, I think the church doesn't offer much in the way of that "soul" connection. In "church" you have bodies next to one another, but often there is little in the way of mind-to-mind exchange such as you have on the internet. Some Christians "go to church" but express their hearts on their blogs because there is no forum for that "in church". In this way, the church is a microcosm of the problem in society as a whole -- people feel unable to connect so they retreat into their minds.
The moral of this story is that *everyone* needs a full-healing, a full body-soul-spirit connection. With God, and with one another. I can't help but think that Jesus came to bring this kind of full-connection with Him and with one another.
Posted by: Ramone | October 25, 2007 at 07:40 AM
beautifully and honestly said (both of you) and the picture is breath-takingly stunning
Posted by: lorna (see-through faith) | October 25, 2007 at 09:52 AM
Hi Richard, thanks for your comments! I left a return comment on the "tips" one. Tonight I updated the prophetic-art one... http://art-for-jesus.blogspot.com/2007/10/prophetic-art.html ...and I'm really happy with what came in the update. Enjoy. (^_^) And all blessings in Jesus!
Posted by: Ramone | October 29, 2007 at 11:21 AM
The ogre of lonliness seems to grow larger as time passes; the longer the time alone, the harder it seems to believe there's a way out. The painful way out of lonliness lies in vulnerability - being open to others, and the possibility of rejection it brings with it. As to the online world, it creates a further "unreal" in that you can edit comments before posting, another self-defense mechnism to have time to reflect on the interpretation and remove potentially embarassing knee-jerk responses. Here's hoping all lonely people find the confidence to find their way out of their prison and into true connectedness again
Posted by: anonymous | November 18, 2007 at 06:25 PM
A great image, and post. I've tried a little myself and know how much work it takes, complex facial expressions in particular.. well done.
The insight of your post is also excellent.
Posted by: Nobis77 | December 11, 2009 at 08:04 AM